Through The Godless Hours (78)
When she met his eyes Ramani had been jolted, almost physically. It was as if Daman’s soul were suddenly passing through her body. She could almost hear its swish as it laced around her neck, and ears. Perhaps it was her surprise at the ease with which their chance encounter – the first in twenty-five years – had occurred. For while she had always instinctively known that they would one day meet again, not once had she conceived of walking straight into him right upon her impromptu arrival in the capital. And if it were this easy for them to meet, why had they waited so long, endured so much pain?
Ramani knew she must have wobbled momentarily, weak at the knees, because the old man who had accompanied her throughout her journey was now helping her up those same steps which Daman, her only ever lover, had just descended. She wanted desperately to turn and follow him, to smell the musk she would instantly recognise, hear his smooth baritone confirm once more: you’re safe with me. But while her heart pulled at her strongly, her mind quickly restored her focus to the real reason she was here: the matter of her son – their son, Anath – who lay stricken in a Casualty Ward bed, just through the doors up ahead.
But it was also in this moment that something crystallised within Ramani, and she determined to act in order to change the fate she had been dealt. For too long, she had passively accepted a life lacking in fulfilment, but now she would reclaim what she knew to be rightfully hers, just as soon as she had established that her son was all right. Steeling herself with the aid of the old man, the beauty from the desa then took a deep breath before pushing inside to find him…
Arriving at her room, the young Detective happened upon quite a scene. Five or six of the other girls were crowding the dimly lit chamber, babbling away in various stages of excitement, and exhaustion. It was clear from the state of the place that some kind of incident had occurred, but he was relieved to note that Lulu was unmarked. Ushering them out one by one she mumbled her gratitude, while refusing to meet his gaze. But once the door had closed behind them, she flicked him an angry glare. “You… you bastard! I thought you different,” she spat, accusingly. “Babe, I’m so sorry.” Adi shook his head. “Things have happened so quickly… between us, I mean,” he added, his tone now affected – soft. “I just didn’t have a chance to–” “How Lulu can believe you? Men, men, bastard men… Always same. Always hurt Lulu. Now you.”
By now he had caught her in an embrace and was trying to find her mouth with his, while she struggled. Ultimately, glad to be held in his arms once more, she collapsed into him, letting out a tired sigh. “Tell me about your past,” Adi encouraged. “Tell me everything, lover. Let’s make today the beginning of a new life, not the end of a relationship.” Sighing deeply again, the girl looked downcast. “Lulu ashame. What happen me no Lulu fault. Lulu korban. Victim. Men so, so evil. Use woman body, sell woman body. So… so evil,” she said, falteringly.
“I know. So tell me everything, so there’s no secrets. Nothing I’ll ever hear about you that I don’t already know,” he explained, urging her to wipe the slate; make a fresh start. The girl looked up into his eyes, her tears beginning to form. “When I fifteen my father sell me. You believe that? It true,” she began. “Ya ampun,” the young Detective exclaimed. Good grief. “Sell me to gang in Kota. Lulu cry and cry and cry. I know never to see mother again. Sister again. I just give up. Laying there. Men come every hour, every day. Fuck me, hit me.” “You were indentured – a sex slave.” “That right, I slave. I give up. No fight. Lulu too weak.” “Kasihan,” Adi murmured. You poor thing. “Then they start laugh at me, say I no good in bed. I no make them satisfaction. That why I so ashame. ’Cause I decide prove I’m good. And I show them, after that, I can do sex good to them.”
Adi swallowed hard. It was an image he did not need in his mind. But the girl was not finished. “I choose play their game. Then they start nice to Lulu, give more food. And… drug.” The Detective parted from her, a quizzical look on his face. “That right. Drug. Fucking drug, OK?” Her expression had hardened. “I like it. Drug. They give more. I like lot. But I know I die if no stop. One day I pretend take, but no. They so high they just watch me walk out door.” “Wow, that’s some story,” encouraged Adi, putting something of a brave face on the unsavoury details of her revelations. “But no finish there. Laba-Laba come look for me. I so scare, again. My friend took me here. This place. Endang. They protect, but now I professional. No slave now. Only whore. That my life. Until you.”
Silently, the young Detective reached out and pulled her towards him again, kissing her warm lips as the tears fell down her cheeks. She might not be perfect, but then nothing in life was. And despite her sordid past, Adi was now convinced of one thing. This was the girl for him.