Kaptain's Blog

The writings and musings of The Kaptain

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Conversation With A Jihadist

We sat in the departure lounge bar.
My full fat heineken faced off against his diet pepsi.
All around us people barked into their cellphones in a variety of languages, mostly with excitement and all in good cheer.
Children misbehaved, uncorrected.
His head was wrapped in rags and, unusually, he wore a surgical mask.
“Why do you wear that?” I asked, pointing.
“It’s your breath. It’s foul. Like Satan’s,” he replied.
“How can you know what Satan’s breath smells like?” I asked.
“He drank from the vine, like you.”
“Says who?”
“It is written.”

And so there we were, pitched together through no fault of our own.
No words passed between us.
No contact, not even like dogs, used to casually sniff each other’s arses.
Remote.
Two human beings unable to communicate, despite our being the highest form of life on earth.
He was a Muslim, I an atheist.
And our conversation, had it taken place, might have gone like this:
Jihadist: all kaffirs must die.
Me: but how about that pregnant mother over there?
Jihadist: she is white, she is western, she must die. It is the will of Allah.
Me: what do you know about her religious persuasions?
Jihadist: she has been corrupted.
Me: but what about the baby inside her? Surely it is better for her to be born, so you might convert her?
Jihadist: a woman is not worth as much as a man. It is the will of Allah.
Me: ah…

Pause for thought.

Me: I really enjoyed that cigarette you were smoking, by the way, thanks for sharing.
Jihadist: I would never share anything with a kaffir.
Me: well you just did. It was the will of Allah, perhaps.

posted by Kirk at 6:43 pm  

1 Comment »

  1. What a prick!
    But you totally owned him, dad.

    Comment by Kitty Kat — February 17, 2011 @ 7:49 pm

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